The 4 Words That Saved Our Family's Vacation
"Is it over yet?" Family vacations can be the best of times and the worst of times. While some ups and downs are normal, if you find yourself away from home just wishing the family "vacation" would end already, it isn't necessarily too late to salvage the situation and get back to having fun.
Earlier this summer, my family of eight took a big two-week vacation to Europe. We broke it up into three different portions: three days in Lisbon, a week on the beach at the Costa del Sol in Spain and three days in Barcelona. Due to strict European occupancy limits in hotels, we ended up booking three different Airbnbs along the way. That experience solidified my stance that Airbnb can be better than a hotel for families in many situations.
While our approach to the vacation was sound, the reality wasn't as smooth. For example, we were all enjoying the near-empty Mediterranean beaches, but the relatively tight quarters and frequent togetherness started to get on everyone's nerves more and more as the days went by.
About halfway through the family vacation, things really came to a head. It became abundantly clear that nobody was having the fun we thought we should be having. In talking with my wife, we realized that something had to be done -- immediately.
Related: Best Credit Cards for Families for Free-Night Certificates
How I Wanted to React
Having a large family with diverse personalities, we are used to managing quips and quarrels, but everyone was being extra snippy and rude to each other on this vacation. Frankly, my first reaction was anger. I initially wanted to give them a classic "dad lecture."
"Don't you kids know how lucky you are to be able to go to Europe on vacation? Most kids your age never get the chance to do things like this! How about you show some gratitude and thankfulness instead of whining all the time and being rude to everyone else? Think about someone else besides yourself for a change."
The Four Words That Saved Our Vacation
Then I (thankfully) took a step back and my wife and I started thinking about how we could salvage the situation. We knew there was no real way to cut the vacation short (not that either of us really wanted that option), but we knew that some concrete changes were needed if we were going to make it through the rest of the time.
I ended up taking a play from my software developers' handbook and we had a family "retrospective" where everyone got a piece of paper and wrote down their feelings in three categories:
- Things that they liked about the vacation
- Things that they didn't like about the vacation
- Things they wanted to change
We went around the room and took turns sharing one thing from each column. We started with the things people liked, and everyone was able to share fun things that we had done during our trip so far. Then we took a look at the things we didn't like. We encouraged people to just listen to everyone's feelings and accept that different people could feel differently about the same things.
Then we started brainstorming from the third column: the list of things that we could change. There were many things on the list of dislikes that we just couldn't do anything about. This list included:
- The house being too small. Although our Airbnb was large by European standards, it was a bit cramped for our family of eight that is used to the amount of space we had at home. Not much we could do about that one.
- Sharing a room. Some of our kids who were used to their own rooms were having to share for days on end and missing their own spaces.
- Lack of chargers. The kids were especially bummed that the chargers for their Nintendo 2DS systems didn't work on the increased European voltage. First world problems, but still problems from the kids point of view.
As we were reviewing the list of grievances, we came up with the four words that saved our family's vacation: "What can we change?" We found quite a few things that we could change, and with about a week left in the trip, we put some new plans into action.
The Aftermath
There was nothing earth shattering about the changes we put in place. We divided up our remaining days and put two kids each day in charge of working together to pick (with some parental guidance) what we ate, where we went and what things we saw. We also made some changes to screen sharing and management, and set limits on how long people could use different screens (a sore point for several of the kids).
I wish that I could say that the remainder of our trip was perfectly blissful and without disagreements, but the reality is that this was a typical family vacation with its ups and downs. Still, the low point was then behind us and kids loved being "in charge" of different aspects of the days. Even the kids who weren't in charge that day were more agreeable, knowing that they would get their turn in charge of something before too long.
Bottom Line
We ended our trip with three happy days in Barcelona, topping it off with a great family visit at the Sagrada Familia church. I really feel like our midway retrospective meeting truly saved our vacation. We plan to utilize some of the strategies learned on this trip before we embark on the next one. These same tips can also be helpful when traveling with a big group of your extended family.
Has your family ever been in this position on vacation? How did you salvage the trip? We'd love to hear your tips.
Here's some advice for planning a European vacation:
- 3 Ways to Do Paris on Points
- Paris Hotels on Points for Families of 4
- Using Points and Miles to Get to London
- Using Points and Miles to Stay in London
- 8 Points-Friendly London Hotels for Families of 4
- Portugal Hotels on Points for Families of 4
- How to Plan the Perfect Family Trip to Rome
- Planning a Family Trip to Vienna
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Why We Chose It
There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits. (Partner offer)Pros
- 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
- 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
- Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
- Solid welcome bonus
Cons
- Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
- Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
- You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
- $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
- $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
- $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
- Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Annual Fee is $325.
- Terms Apply.
Rewards Rate
| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
| 3X | Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com. |
| 2X | Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com. |
| 1X | Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases. |
Intro Offer
You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after spending $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer.As High As 100,000 points. Find Out Your Offer.Annual Fee
$325Recommended Credit
Credit ranges are a variation of FICO® Score 8, one of many types of credit scores lenders may use when considering your credit card application.Excellent to Good
Why We Chose It
There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits. (Partner offer)Pros
- 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
- 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
- Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
- Solid welcome bonus
Cons
- Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
- Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
- You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
- $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
- $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
- $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
- Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Annual Fee is $325.
- Terms Apply.