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I'm an independent traveler who likes making my own arrangements. (Or, to rephrase that for the people who know me and will want me to tell you the truth: I'm a travel obsessive with a need to usually control every aspect of a trip.)

But when it came to planning my family's first trip to Japan, I decided I needed help connecting all the dots of what I wanted to see, do and eat (and to make sure my husband and son didn't want to abandon me by the end of it all).

I decided to work with a Japan travel specialist to assist with the planning, and it's a decision I'm glad I made. Here's what you need to know if you want to enlist a tour operator to help plan your own trip to Japan.

Why we chose Japan for our family trip

It was January 2020 when my son, Aidan, then 16, found out he had qualified for a much-coveted Rotary exchange program to Japan for the summer. It was April 2020 when that plan came crashing to a pandemic-related halt. He was crushed that he would not get to travel there, but as I (and hipsters everywhere) tried my hand at perfecting a sourdough recipe in the privacy of my own kitchen, Aidan dutifully kept his eye on getting to Japan one day.

He taught himself to speak and read Japanese (first with a 365-day streak on Duolingo, then with an online tutor). He dove into cooking Japanese cuisine, directing us to local Asian markets to procure ingredients for new-to-us-at-the-time dishes like okonomiyaki (savory pancakes from Osaka).

But despite his deep dive into Japanese culture, by the time the country reopened its borders and the exchange program came back online, he couldn't participate. He had aged out.

That’s when I decided to try to put together a trip to Japan for our whole family.

The only issue: I had no idea where to start. I’ve traveled extensively in Africa and have visited a half-dozen Asian countries on my own. But there was something I found inherently intimidating about planning a trip to Japan. The language with multiple alphabets, the complex train schedules, the reservations needed months in advance for everything from restaurants to attractions — it all kept me in a planning procrastination holding pattern.

That's when I started to consider getting some professional planning assistance. On a recent trip to Namibia, I connected with Audley Travel, a tour operator with offices in London and Boston, which coordinated the transportation hurdles of that journey to one of the earth's most remote corners.

When I decided to get help with our trip to Japan so it would be as special as possible for Aidan, I connected with Audley. I especially liked that its travel specialists have lived, or traveled extensively, in the destinations where they operate and know it well (as opposed to travel agents who can sell any number of locales without specialized knowledge).

Our Japan trip: Early planning

Before I reached out to Audley Travel, I pulled together a list of our "must-haves."

Aidan is a foodie (I’m not just saying this, he competed on "Chopped Junior" when he was in middle school), and we're both fans of various Instagram food accounts, so I wanted culinary tours galore and a cooking lesson. He had Nagoya and Osaka on the list of his interests, for their museums and cultural sites, along with Studio Ghibli (for the uninitiated, this is the anime gold standard thanks to films like "Spirited Away," "Howl's Moving Castle" and "Ponyo").

My husband had one item on his wish list: a baseball game. The other thing they both agreed on was not having to change hotels every night like I often make them do when I’m traveling and writing.

Other than that, I wanted the first-timers basics like temples and gardens, but truly I was mostly focused on an itinerary that would be good for an older teen (although Aidan turned 20 while I was planning this trip).

Armed with our list of preferences and using Audley’s “Family Adventure” sample trip as a launch point, I jumped into my first phone call with one of Audley’s Japan travel specialists, Tamatha Frederick.

Frederick had lived in Japan for seven years, speaks Japanese and is also a mom, so she knew what was reasonable for Nippon newbies like my family.

For Tokyo and Kyoto, her suggestions were in keeping with my requests: a food tour of Tsukiji Outer Market, a cooking class and private tours to help orient us in the city.

Things got interesting when we delved a little deeper into our specific requests. Although I didn’t mean to, I had created a kind of Japan-expert test: how to find a Ghibli experience when the tickets are notoriously hard to come by, how to get baseball tickets when the schedules are in Japanese and come out months in advance, and how to get off the beaten path at a time when Japan seems to be a more popular destination than ever and is breaking its tourism records.

When Frederick heard Aidan’s list, she suggested we stay in Nagoya. Though seldom on tourists' radars, we could go to the Ghibli theme park from there, and visit the museums Aidan had on his list and Nagoya Castle, too. Osaka, on the other hand, would be easily visitable from Kyoto, saving us the effort of having to change hotels and cities.

This was pretty much the opposite of what everyone I knew who was planning trips was doing, i.e., staying in Osaka and skipping Nagoya, but I decided to leave the planning to the expert.

Arrivals made easy

Although I was very hands-on for the preplanning stages where we refined the schedule, I was delightfully uninvolved in finalizing the schedule — and to my delight, it ended up running like clockwork.

First, a car and driver met us at the airport. After a 13-hour flight from New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport (JFK) on All Nippon Airways to Tokyo's Haneda Airport (HND), the 25-minute drive made our arrival so much easier than having to then hop on public transportation with possible line changes to make to get to our hotel. On our return trip, we flew from Narita International Airport (NRT) to Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) on United Airlines and also had car service prearranged (about an hour's drive), which took much of the hassle out of getting to our flight.

Checking in at the hotel (a moderately priced option that Audley recommends for families, Shiba Park), I was handed a massive envelope filled with everything we would need day-to-day for our two-week trip, including preloaded Suica cards (used for public transportation) and Shinkansen bullet train tickets labeled with our routes, plus multipage instructions on how to read the tickets and use the train.

Realistically, though, I didn't actually need the instructions since the next morning, we were met at the hotel by the lovely Masa-ho (pictured above), a private guide booked by Audley, who was our Tokyo keeper. First, she took our piles of tickets and double-checked the dates and times, confirmed we had the correct admission tickets for our baseball game and theme park days, and then showed us on a map how to reach everything.

Then, she handed us day passes for the metro, personally escorted us to an ATM in case we needed one and then led us to the JR Yamanote metro line (a circuit line popular with visitors), where we sped along to Tokyo Station so she could show us exactly how to find the Shinkansen and how to board it. Back on the subway, we popped on and off the line so she could show us popular sights. It was the perfect way to shake off my inner intimidations about Tokyo's transit system.

Also, having our Shinkansen tickets booked in advance and waiting upon our arrival was truly a convenient perk of working with a specialist. This was an aspect of the trip I had especially been worried about after hearing from a fellow TPG staffer that she had stood in the wrong Shinkansen ticket purchasing line for more than hour, with her tween in tow, and from other travelers who had warned me about how complicated buying tickets in advance from the U.S. can be since there are no digital tickets, only printed ones.

Exceptional tour guides

One constant in our jam-packed, multicity itinerary was our excellent tour guides.

In Tokyo, we had three tours. Among these were the famous fish emporium, Tsukiji Market, plus a fabulously fun ramen and gyoza cooking class at YUCa's Japanese Cooking school. Both of these are things I could have found versions of on my own. However, when I did a quick search on Tripadvisor, 140 tours with "Tsukiji" came up. And that number was 152 when I searched for cooking classes in Tokyo.

YUCa Japanese Cooking School. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

Tsukiji Outer Market tour. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

Instead, I discovered that Audley carefully vets a small number of tours and classes and offers only those it finds to be the best to its clients. The ones we took were certainly excellent.

Mike, our tour guide in Kyoto, was a tea master and took us to temples, gardens and side streets in Gion where we barely spotted another tourist; quite a feat in the perpetually popular city. He also took the featured photo for this story, lovingly referred to as our Beatles Kyoto moment.

Our favorite experience of the trip was one that I would never have found on my own: a food tour of Osaka at night.

I’ll admit, I didn’t look at it very carefully, but I assumed we’d hit the spots where all the TikTok and Instagram influencers go — in other words, in front of the running man neon in Dotonbori. Instead, this tour launched from Temma Station and took us down the longest covered road in Japan. According to our personable guide, Kokoro, it's a spot popular with locals, especially with young adults on a Saturday night, which is when we were there. It was fabulous for Aidan.

We made three stops, one for skewers of fried meat and vegetables, kushikatsu, where we sampled everything from blowfish to bitter melon; one for DIY table-grilled meats and seafood, including Kobe beef and whole squid; and finally, real okonomiyaki made right on the tabletop griddle. All three were casual and fun and turned out to be some of our favorite dining spots on our two-week trip. We were also the only Westerners at all three restaurants, a fact highlighted by the young girls and guys waving to Aidan to get his attention and trying out English phrases like "cool, dude" accompanied by thumbs up all around.

Other highlights

It wasn't all about food and sightseeing, though. Our Audley guides made sure we got to the other priorities on our list.

A baseball day trip to Yokohama

Audley really went to bat for this one (sorry, couldn't resist). Both Tokyo baseball teams were out of town when we were visiting, which, if I was planning on my own, would have immediately put this idea out of play. Instead, it found a game about 40 minutes away in the city of Yokohama.

This turned out to be one of our most enjoyable days. Audley prebooked our tickets and we had great seats along the third-base line. Baseball in Japan is a rowdy, rollicking good time with lots of singing, cheerleaders, fried chicken, beer and, in Yokohama, large bowls of shaved ice with mandarins on top to cool down. Plus, a big balloon release in the seventh inning made it a home run for everyone.

Nagoya and Ghibli Park: The hard-to-get ticket

I truly had no idea what a big "ask" this was when I first mentioned it. Every Japanese resident we spoke to during our trip mentioned how much they'd like to visit Ghibli Park, but that getting tickets was too tricky due to the fact they go on sale three months to the day, at midnight, before your desired date. However, Frederick came to the rescue: While I was still translating tourism pages with Google trying to find the right booking window, she emailed to say she had already gotten tickets. The trick was booking us through a cultural tour that's only offered to foreign passport holders.

Frederick was also spot on about this being a great option for us. There is only one Ghibli Park in the world, and it is set in a former World Expo location in a wooded park. There are fields of real flowers, dense woods and a series of immersive, movie-themed sets, with food and shopping opportunities, a few rides like a carousel and the "cat bus," but no big thrill rides. It was wonderful having a day out of the city experiencing a truly "only here" attraction.

Nagoya Castle. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

Nagoya at night. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

Hilton Nagoya. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

Nagoya City Science Museum. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

We really appreciated the city of Nagoya, too. This is a spot not many tourists get to. Audley booked us at the Hilton Nagoya, and thanks to my Hilton Honors Gold status, we were upgraded to a traditional Japanese suite that included lounge access. A manager even thanked us for coming, saying, "This is a spot people usually stop at between Tokyo and Kyoto, but not for tourism." That's too bad, though. Nagoya Castle is impressive, the museums were fabulous and the hospitality we experienced was friendly and welcoming.

A house rental in Kyoto

What happened with my family's biggest ask about not having to hotel hop? This was solved by Audley renting us a machiya, or traditional home, in Kyoto.

We spent five days in Kyoto and were able to spread out and immerse ourselves, a bit at least, in a quiet neighborhood. There were two bedrooms upstairs, a divided bathroom downstairs, a small kitchen alongside a big living space and, best of all, a private Zen garden. For the copious space and ability to make our own breakfast, stock the kitchen with snacks and drinks, and have some downtime in individual spaces (I especially liked the tatami relaxation room on the first floor), this was a great choice for our family. The only downside was a location away from the main tourist area, but it did mean we missed navigating the crowds downtown.

The drawbacks

You might actually see this one coming from looking at my itinerary (and this isn't even all of it), but we were a bit overscheduled. Of course, it's partly my doing that I committed us to three guided tours and a cooking class in three days in Tokyo, but that was too much. I could have used more guidance in what to keep and what to drop to maximize our time without overdoing it.

We also visited a ryokan in Izu Kogen, a peaceful seaside town. While lovely, and offering private onsen tubs and large tatami rooms that suited our family, ultimately the ryokan felt like it would have been better off for a romantic trip rather than our family journey. (If you're looking for a honeymoon destination, though, I highly recommend it.)

Conrad Tokyo. MELISSA KLURMAN/THE POINTS GUY

What you need to know about planning a trip with a tour operator

It helps to start planning a trip like this with a specialist around six months in advance. I connected with Frederick about seven months out. With a wide timing window, it's easier for the specialist to book preferred times for tours and find tickets to popular attractions.
If you don't have set ideas of where you want to visit in Japan, look for sample itineraries on a prospective tour company's website. This helped me figure out how many days we should stay in Japan and a basic structure for our itinerary.
Prior to departure, we received a planner with all of our itinerary details printed out. Audley also has a new app that we used, but it's still in the testing stage (I'd personally like to see offline maps added). There's also a 24-hour helpline which high-end operators tend to offer, and which can provide peace of mind in case your plans go awry.
You'll pay more for a tour company than if you plan a trip on your own. Audley's 14-day family itineraries start at $6,195 per person. Breaking down the cost of my trip, paying out of pocket for comparable hotels, tours, transfers and train tickets would have been about $10,000 dollars total for three people for a 12-day trip. To compare on a daily rate, that's $1,328 for the tour operator per day for three people versus $833 per day for three people if I had planned everything myself, or about 35% more to use the tour operator.
However, you can use points and miles to book flights and hotels. We stayed at the Nagoya Hilton (which Audley booked) and were upgraded thanks to our Hilton Honors status. And I organized my own stay at the stylish Conrad Tokyo, for a luxurious last night in Japan (from 95,000 points). (On our itinerary, Audley simply marked this as "client arranged.")
Depending on the tour operator and how the purchase codes, you might be able to earn rewards points on a credit card with a travel bonus category.

Bottom line

So what is it like to have someone else at the wheel planning a trip to Japan?

The hardest part (for me) was relinquishing control of my itinerary to someone else, and it still takes some getting used to. The best parts, however, included having someone booking all of our Shinkansen tickets in advance, securing hard-to-book tickets, vetting every tour we took and working with fabulous guides that made our trip all the more memorable.

Ultimately, using a tour operator helped me turn a family travel dream into a reality that was even better than we could have hoped.

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