I never thought I’d miss a cruise ship buffet – until now
This is an homage to the cruise ship buffet — a venue I generally despise.
Nothing good ever happens in the Lido deck buffet. Have you ever experienced the meal of your life or met the man of your dreams over steam-tray-served entrees? Me neither.
Buffet food is typically mediocre. When it’s not, you get so excited about Indian chickpeas, California rolls and freshly sliced brisket that you put together a plate that looks like the United Nations, gets along just as well and leaves out all healthy vegetables. The after-effects can be unpleasant.
Then there are the people. They touch their face, they touch the tongs, they haphazardly abandon the tongs and cross-contaminate the dishes. They crowd the stations and cause backups, cut in line, take the last chocolate chip cookies, dammit, that you’ve been trying for the past 10 minutes to snag. Their coughs and sneezes are magnetically attracted toward anything edible, and they save seats for people who never show up or might possibly not exist.
We all know people who love buffets, and you’re lying if you say you don’t judge them for that. The folks who happily pile a plate high with bacon then go back for seconds. My kids (and likely yours), who think a balanced meal consists of cereal that spans the entire color spectrum, pizza and dessert (that’s four food groups if pepperoni is involved, right?). In our deepest hearts, we don’t think they’re OK.
Related: Cruise ship buffet taboos: 10 things you should never do at mealtime
And then … I went on a cruise without a buffet.
At first, I was stoked. I was thrilled to have dining choices — Korean barbecue, fancy Mexican and weird experimental tasting menus — that were diverse and included in the fare. I would not need to make weird plates of pad thai, quesadillas and Brussels sprouts to feel nourished on evenings when I didn’t want to dress up or pay extra for dinner.
However, on the second morning of the cruise, I was scheduled on one of those badly timed tours that run exclusively during lunch hours but do not include food. (Aside: Why are there so many of those?) I, therefore, needed to eat a late breakfast and, due to other commitments, had a half hour in which to do it.
I didn’t have time for a sit-down meal, so I headed to the ship’s food hall, which I'd dubbed the faux buffet because it was in the typical pool deck buffet location and offered multiple stations of themed entrée choices. But it wasn’t a buffet, let’s be clear, because waiters took orders and served dishes, some food (at least) was cooked to order and only professionals handled the tongs.
I grabbed a table, flipped up the “service, please” flag and waited. And waited. And waited some more.
All cruisers know that the buffet gets packed the morning before a tour. Apparently, food halls and other buffet alternatives also get packed the morning before a tour. However, unlike at a buffet, you can’t get food without a waiter.
I did what every Dunkin-wielding, aggressive-driving Bostonian does in these situations. I made unapologetic eye contact with every crew member who walked by until one finally came to take my order.
In my euphoria at being able to order food, I forgot to ask how long it would take to bring me Nutella and banana toast and some yogurt with granola. Five minutes passed. Then 10. Then 15. I started to sweat. My stomach started to grumble. Should I leave? Would the Target-brand fake Luna bar I brought from home hold me throughout the tour? Was there something in a grab-and-go box worth eating? Should I run down to the coffee shop and croissant my lunch?
Gentle readers, my story has a happy ending. The server brought my food with minutes to spare and I scarfed down the meal before dashing back to my cabin for my day pack and heading to the gangway.
This experience led to an epiphany of sorts. As much as we all love to hate buffets, they serve an important function on a cruise ship. They provide a quick-service, grab-and-go meal option when you just want to feed yourself and get on with the day rather than having a dining experience.
Related: Virgin Voyages says it’s too cool for buffets. But guess what I just found on its first ship
Cruise lines can try to fill that need with pre-packaged foods, Bento boxes or calorific muffins at the coffee shop, but the food options are typically limited and cold. No one is writing poetry about steam-table scrambled eggs and hash browns, but on busy mornings, they fill a need.
And so, after sailing on a cruise ship with no buffet, I will now proudly admit I’m switching teams and hopping on the buffet bandwagon. As a card-carrying fan, I still claim the right to get impatient with the idiots who cut in line, to get grossed out by the drippy salad dressing dispensers touched by everyone, to question all fish dishes left to sit in the sun and to regret every badly put together multiethnic meal I concoct from multiple stations.
I’m not saying buffet dining is great — but I firmly believe it’s a necessary service. So pass me the tongs because I’ve got 15 minutes to eat, and I’m going to make the most of it. Mock me, if you will.
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| 2X | Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com. |
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Why We Chose It
There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits. (Partner offer)Pros
- 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
- 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
- Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
- Solid welcome bonus
Cons
- Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
- Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
- You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
- $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
- $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
- $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
- Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Annual Fee is $325.
- Terms Apply.
Rewards Rate
| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
| 3X | Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com. |
| 2X | Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com. |
| 1X | Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases. |
Intro Offer
You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after spending $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer.As High As 100,000 points. Find Out Your Offer.Annual Fee
$325Recommended Credit
Credit ranges are a variation of FICO® Score 8, one of many types of credit scores lenders may use when considering your credit card application.Excellent to Good
Why We Chose It
There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits. (Partner offer)Pros
- 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
- 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
- Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
- Solid welcome bonus
Cons
- Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
- Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
- You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
- $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
- $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
- $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
- Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Annual Fee is $325.
- Terms Apply.