On a long-haul flight in a premium cabin, I love flying with airlines like Singapore Airlines and Qatar Airways due to the lengths the cabin crew goes to in order to ensure all passengers have a memorable experience.
Nothing is too much trouble and I have ended up conversing with the cabin crew so much during flights that we swapped tips for our favorite layover cities and discussed the history of their airlines and how they compare to their competitors. Their enthusiasm for aviation is infectious.
However, for a flight under two hours, domestically or to Europe, when traveling alone, my goal is largely to speak to no one. It’s not because I don’t like the crew or my fellow passengers. It’s just that I don’t need any service at all on a flight this short.
It starts with boarding — crew members rarely check my boarding pass as I step on board a narrow-body aircraft. They figure I can find my row number by myself and I figure the same thing.
Beyond telling me it’s "down the aisle" and either to the left or the right, there’s not much more help they can give me beyond an obligatory “welcome aboard.”
Once I’ve settled into my seat, I prepare my Bose noise-canceling headphones (a freebie that came with my new pre-ordered Pixel 6 mobile phone, and one of the most useful things I have ever owned), politely listen to the safety demonstration, queue up some music and zone out.
Related: The ultimate guide to Delta One Suites
I always choose a window seat on a short flight because it’s unlikely I will need to use the bathroom or stretch my legs (I do those before boarding).
If there are any restless young children around me or even rowdy adults who may have had one too many at the airport bar I don’t even notice, because I switch on the noise cancellation on my headphones.
I have the enviable ability to nod off on even the shortest of flights. If I’m really lucky I won’t wake up until the plane hits the tarmac on landing, having not needed to speak to a single person the entire flight.
This is an ideal short flight for me.
I usually eat something in the lounge before boarding and fill up my trusty reusable metal water bottle so I don’t need to eat or drink anything on the flight, whether I’m asleep, doing some work, reading a book or staring out the window.
I find that even on airlines that do provide a free meal and drink in economy on a short flight, it’s so meager and unhealthy/tasteless it’s not worth patiently waiting for a crew member to reach your row with the trolley.
Related: When is best to eat when traveling?
Even if you love sugar I don’t recommend the breakfast bars British Airways has been handing out in Euro Traveller for what seems like years. I prefer to save plastic by using my own water bottle than accepting one of these.
On European airlines, at best the food offering has been a stale sandwich or bread roll that doesn’t taste great and isn't very nutritious. For me, it isn’t worth keeping your eyes peeled for the trolley working its way down the aisle to your row.
Just because it’s free doesn’t mean it is worth consuming. Everything in moderation, as they say — even free stuff.
Related: The 6 best and worst inflight meals I ate last year
The welcome announcements on short flights will often be along the lines of “if there’s anything we can do to make your flight more comfortable, please don’t hesitate to ask your crew.” In reality, though, there’s very little they can do for me to improve the flight experience.
I’m far more concerned about a short flight departing and arriving on time than conversing with the crew, as I rarely really need anything.
On the rare times I forget to pack my trusty noise-canceling headphone I curse my poor planning, as I have to listen to both numerous crew announcements and the passengers around me. On ultra low-cost carriers like Ryanair, I have no interest in hearing about the range of ladies’ fragrances available for purchase on today’s flight.
Equally, I don’t want to buy a scratch card or a deck of cards for a discounted price.
Related: The top 5 economy meals in the sky
Bottom line
I have perfected my strategy for avoiding speaking to anyone on short-haul flights when flying alone by choosing a window seat, using the bathroom beforehand and not requiring any food, drink or other assistance from crew.
Of course, if I'm sitting in a middle or aisle seat I am happy to assist anyone who wants to get up into the aisle — I’m not going to ignore them just because I’m wearing headphones.
If I’m traveling with someone else I’m always happy to chat, too — especially if we are headed somewhere lovely for a vacation. In these circumstances I’m often so excited I can barely sit still.
However, for an hour flight by myself on a normal workday, I’m happy when I’m not a bother to anyone and can just sit at the window by myself, zone out and arrive at my destination with a minimum of fuss. The best service I can have on these flights is no service at all.
