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My First TSA "Opt Out" Grope Down

Nov. 29, 2010
4 min read
My First TSA "Opt Out" Grope Down
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I've been successful at dodging the TSA nudey machine bullet recently, but my luck ran up tonight. I was going through security in Miami Terminal D and I thought I had chosen the correct security lane- the one where everyone was going through the metal detector. This method has worked pretty well in the past, but not tonight. When it was my turn to go through, the TSA man threw me a curveball and told me to go through the nudey machine. Funny thing to note: all of the pilots/FAs/airport workers were instructed to NOT go through the machine. From my point of view, why should a frequent flyer want to go through if the Airline Pilots Association feels there may be a risk in extended exposure to the machine? There are weeks where I go through security more times than a pilot- I'm not sold that there are absolutely no side effects from frequent use. Knowing that I was somewhat uncomfortable with it, I decided to opt out.

Me: "I don't want to go through the machine"

Without missing a beat, the man starts yelling:

TSA Man "WE GOT A MALE OPT OUT! I REPEAT- MALE OPT OUT! Sir please move aside" (As all of my belongings, including my wallet-they made me take everything out of my pockets- are now waiting at the end of the conveyor belt)

2 minutes pass

Me: "Sir- my wallet and belongings are down there, I don't feel comfortable being apart from them- someone could just walk off with my wallet since no one is watching over them"

TSA Man: "Someone will be with you shortly"

3 more minutes pass

TSA Man: "Repeat- we have a male opt out"

2 more minutes pass and poly TSA Manager walks up and instructs me to follow him.

I go between the metal detector and Nudey Machine.. why wouldn't they at least have me go through the metal detector??

I point out my belongings to TSA Manager and he takes 2 of the 4 bins. I ask if I should take the others and he mumbles something, which I interpret as "No".

Another couple minutes pass and he tells me to stand with my hands out, feet spread apart shoulder length. I do so and realize he doesn't even have his latex gloves on yet, so I stand with my hands out for a good 60 seconds while he takes his sweet time and slowly puts on the gloves. At this point, it is very clear that I have disrupted his daily routine and he wants to make an example of me.

Before he starts, get gives me a pre-canned speech, something like:

TSA Manager "I'm going to pat you down and use the back of my hands for your buttocks and sensitive areas. I'll also check into your groin area until the point of resistance and around your waistline. I'll then inspect around your legs. Do you have any medical conditions or external ailments?"

Me: "No"

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Let the games begin!

He first began by inspecting my collar and then cupping my chest and patting down my stomach. Good thing he was pretty chubby, or else I may have felt self conscious. When he got to my waist, he put his fingers in between my waistband (creepy) and worked his way around, which somewhat tickled (weird).

He then worked the back of his hands on my rear side and down the back. Coming around the front, he firmly checked my front side and firmly patted my groin area until the "point of resistance", which is where your leg meets your waist. I hope he was impressed. Seemingly satisfied with the pat down, he then swabbed his hands and my bags with a strip and then put it through a machine to test for explosives. The machine came back clear and he told me I was good to go.

Before I knew it, my little 20 minute trsyt with the TSA was over. While the process was incredibly inefficient (I mean, hello, its the TSA we are dealing with) and somewhat creepy, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. The TSA needs to respect people's decisions to not go through the machine and they should have an efficient process to deal with those who opt out. I mean, why couldn't they let me go through the metal detector like everyone else and then swipe me for explosives?

Overall, it was very clear to me that the TSA was on a mission to make an example of me and send a message that opting out isn't okay. In my eyes, they are trying to set policies through the use of fear and intimidation- wait a minute, that kind of sounds like terrorism. Ironic, huh?

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Apply for American Express® Gold Card
at American Express's secure site
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Best for dining at restaurants
TPG Editor‘s Rating
4 / 5
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Rewards Rate

4XEarn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
4XEarn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
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  • Intro Offer

    As High As 100,000 points. Find Out Your Offer.
  • Annual Fee

    $325
  • Recommended Credit

    Excellent to Good

Why We Chose It

There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits. (Partner offer)

Pros

  • 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
  • 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
  • Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
  • Solid welcome bonus

Cons

  • Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
  • Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
  • You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
  • Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
  • Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
  • Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
  • Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
  • Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
  • $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
  • $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
  • $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
  • $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
  • Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
  • No Foreign Transaction Fees.
  • Annual Fee is $325.
  • Terms Apply.