Flying with Children: Horror Stories of Puke, Poop and Creepy Ladies
This post contains references to products from one or more of our advertisers. We may receive compensation when you click on links to those products. Terms apply to the offers listed on this page. For an explanation of our Advertising Policy, visit this page.
If you are a parent flying with children, you probably know that some flights with kids have the potential to turn into your own personal Halloween — a horror story for the ages. (And for your fellow passengers, sometimes.) It’s not the kids’ fault, of course — even grownups can get really testy onboard airplanes. You know how it feels: You’re constantly worried about your son or daughter’s ears hurting. You’re self-conscious about being that parent with the screaming child in row 18.
But cheer up: It could be a lot worse. It could be, for example, something like one of the stories we collected below. Four horrifying tales of poop, puke and creepy ladies — and one featuring a travel voucher to soften the blow.
I’ll start with my own experience. (The other stories come from friends, whose full names have been withheld to protect their privacy.)
Thank You, American
It was an early flight from JFK. I skipped breakfast and picked up some food at the airport for my son, Fred, including orange juice, which he downed. That was my first mistake. Within 10 minutes, just before boarding, he got a strange look on his face, and proceeded to vomit orange juice and bagel all over the carpet in the terminal. I literally held him up in the air and pointed him downwards. Success! Nothing on me. I wiped him off, and he was fine.
But then, it got worse.
Shortly after departure, all of the sudden my lap is warm and my jeans are really wet. I’m covered in more vomit from Fred — a lot of it. Minutes into a six-hour coast-to-coast flight. A flight attendant noticed I was flying alone with my son and came to help me mop up. She must have been a mom. I’m still grateful.
A Miniature Torture Chamber
“When our daughter was 18 months, we took her on a flight to Hawaii. We gave her Benadryl (on our pediatrician’s recommendation). Instead of sedating her, it had the opposite effect. She ran up and down the aisles, annoying everyone on the flight, then pooped through her outfit in a massive blowout. I went to change her in the airplane bathroom. A miniature torture chamber. As I struggled with the diaper in the tight space, she decided to finger-paint the walls with her own feces. Once we landed, we picked up our rental car. On the way to the hotel, she projectile-vomited all over the back seat. Aloha!” – David J., Milwaukee
A Seven-Hour Creep Zone
“My husband and I were flying our three-month-old from the US to the UK. It was her first time flying so we were anxious to see how it would go. Upon boarding, we found that we were sitting near a nice middle-aged lady who was enamored with our child. We were relieved. The woman asked our child’s name and offered to hold her if we needed a break. (It was a sweet offer, but one we knew we wouldn’t actually take her up on.) The lady then happily munched on a bag of Cheez Doodles. Later, the lady came over to see the baby; she cooed our child’s name while stroking her cheeks with her orange Cheez Doodle fingers. I was dying to say something but we had another seven hours to go with this woman and I didn’t want things to get awkward.”
You’ve Got to Hand It to Delta
Welcome to The Points Guy!
Earn 90,000 bonus miles after you spend $3,000 in purchases within the first three months of card membership. Plus, earn a $200 statement credit after your first Delta purchase within the first three months. Offer ends 7/28/21.
With Status Boost™, earn 10,000 Medallion Qualification Miles (MQMs) after you spend $25,000 in purchases on your Card in a calendar year, up to two times per year getting you closer to Medallion Status. Earn 3X Miles on Delta purchases and purchases made directly with hotels, 2X Miles at restaurants and at U.S. supermarkets and earn 1X Mile on all other eligible purchases. Terms Apply.
- Limited Time Offer: Earn 90,000 Bonus Miles after spending $3,000 in purchases on your new Card in your first 3 months and a $200 statement credit after you make a Delta purchase with your new Card within your first 3 months. Offer expires 7/28/2021.
- Limited Time Offer: Plus, get a 0% intro APR on purchases for 12 months from the date of account opening, then a variable 15.74%-24.74%. Offer expires 7/28/2021.
- Accelerate your path to Medallion Status, with Status Boost®. Plus, in 2021 you can earn even more bonus Medallion® Qualification Miles (MQMs) to help you reach Medallion Status.
- Earn 3X Miles on Delta purchases and purchases made directly with hotels.
- Earn 2X Miles at restaurants worldwide, including takeout and delivery and at U.S. supermarkets.
- Receive a Domestic Main Cabin round-trip companion certificate each year upon renewal of your Card. *Payment of the government imposed taxes and fees of no more than $75 for roundtrip domestic flights (for itineraries with up to four flight segments) is required. Baggage charges and other restrictions apply. See terms and conditions for details.
- Enjoy your first checked bag free on Delta flights.
- Fee Credit for Global Entry or TSA Pre✓®.
- Enjoy an exclusive rate of $39 per person per visit to enter the Delta Sky Club® for you and up to two guests when traveling on a Delta flight.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- $250 Annual Fee.
- Terms Apply.
- See Rates & Fees