Travel etiquette: The final word on the right to recline on economy flights

Seat reclining etiquette may not seem like a big deal, but if you've ever spent time chatting to frequent flyers, you'll soon find out it's one of the most divisive topics of the skies.

Should you be allowed to recline whenever you please or should it be restricted to only the longest of flights? Should you ask for permission or just recline at your whim? It's a tricky subject, and we wanted to settle the debate once and for all.

Take a deep breath and picture the following:

You're a few hours into an economy flight. You have a work deadline and are tapping away on your laptop, which is perched precariously on the flimsy tray table. It's barely big enough to hold your machine alongside a much needed but utterly disappointing cup of airplane coffee.

Abruptly, the seat in front shoots back. Your keyboard is spattered in coffee as your screen lurches forward 30 degrees. You mop up the caffeine and crane your neck down to finish your report. It's going to be a long flight.

Now, wipe your brain screen blank and imagine this.

You're a few hours into an economy flight.The seat is hard, and the legroom is akin to a stress position in solitary confinement. You're a long, leggy-limbed human, and you are not built for this, but it'll be at least three hours before you can bust out.

To make matters worse, the bozo sitting behind you is punching at a keyboard with the staccato frequency of a machine gun in between loud gulps of fetid coffee. Better settle in and get comfy. You recline your chair. You can feel his knees poking into your back, and his ferocious typing keeps making your head bob. It's going to be a long flight.

It's a tale of two halves, and while I'd like to believe you can empathize with the protagonists in both scenarios, I suspect many of you immediately took a side.

Related: 8 reasons why you should always sit in an aisle seat on planes

When it comes to seat reclining, there are three camps: those passionately for it, those vehemently against it and the righteously ambivalent. I know this because I recently asked TPG readers on Facebook and received more than 200 responses. As I type, I've received 20 more responses.

With this in mind, I wanted to write what I hope will be the final word on seat reclining.

Let's address the most common defenses for reclining. Firstly, economy seats are cramped, and legroom continues to shrink. If you had more room in the first place, you wouldn't need to recline, but you don't, so you must recline. If anyone has a problem with that, take it up with the airline.

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"Instead of asking whether or not it's okay to recline your seat we should all be asking why airlines continue to make seats smaller, more cramped, closer together," TPG reader David Evan Ozment Wallace lamented on Facebook.

This is kind of true. Since 1978, seat pitch has gone from 36 inches or more to about 30-31 inches in today's largest U.S. carrier economy cabins.

I can't and won't argue with that. However, I will say having less legroom is not improved by pivoting yourself backward at an angle. That's basic math. Your upper body will gain distance from the seat in front, but your leg space will remain the same. If you're justifying reclining by complaining about space, you are mathematically wrong and trapped inside a topological paradox.

Moving on, the most ardent of seat reclining enthusiasts share the opinion that as a paying passenger sitting in a seat with the functionality to recline, you have the right to recline. That is simply that.

As TPG reader Todd Johnson said on Facebook: "Everyone has the option to do it or not do it. There should be no reservations about doing this whenever you want." You don't need permission, baby, for you have the right, nay, the power, to recline. Exercise it.

This is broadly true. Airplane seats, for the most part, do indeed recline, so you can, obviously, recline if you wish. But just because you can doesn't mean you should — in the same way that visiting an all-you-can-eat buffet doesn't mean you must gorge until your stomach hemorrhages.

Yes, you have the right to comfort when you've paid cold hard cash (or points) for your seat, but that shouldn't be at the expense of others.

Related: We tested 5 viral travel products on a long-haul economy flight — were they worth the hype?

Conversely, you can say the same about stopping someone from reclining. What if, for example, you're behind someone with a chronic back issue who can't sit up straight for hours on end? Do you have the right to make that worse? Lord, no.

You see, I'm not inherently against seat recliners, nor am I in support either. In my eyes, the only answer to the seat reclining dilemma is: "It depends." To think anything else shows a sociopathic lack of empathy toward your fellow passengers.

It seems that in matters of unequal reclining, one person is always losing. So, I asked Liz Wyse from the world's leading etiquette school, Debrett's, to weigh in.

"Remember, everyone has the right to recline," Wyse said. "You may feel that you take priority because you want to work on the flight or because you are exceptionally tall and therefore already over-cramped, but you don't. It is sometimes hard to accept, but each passenger has purchased a ticket and with it has acquired certain rights."

The best option, Wyse agreed, is to remain "calm and polite and hope that you can negotiate a reasonable compromise."

For some, however, it's a matter of practicality and fairness. "Reclining is unacceptable if you have less than 30 inches of pitch," TPG reader Christopher Burge said. "You are all in this horrible experience together, for you to make it worse on someone else is just exceptionally selfish."

With all of this in mind and in an attempt to bolt down some contextual and foolhardy rules, here are TPG's seven commandments of seat reclining.

Thou shalt not recline without warning

You want to recline. That's OK. But before you do, be a gem and give the person behind you a heads-up. They may not want you to, but they probably won't say no.

Many of our TPG readers agreed with this rule when they shared their thoughts on Facebook. Forewarning at least allows them to prepare and get used to the idea without you knocking their drink over.

Thou shalt not recline during meal times 

The most common opinion from TPG readers is that reclining, while annoying, is fine as long as it doesn't happen during meals. This is wholly reasonable.

"Don't contemplate reclining your seat during the drinks and meal service — it's hard enough juggling a drink and meal combination on a small fold-down tray at the best of times, and almost impossible when the tray has descended below your knee level," Wyse said.

Even if you want to sleep through dinner, you shouldn't make someone else's meal uncomfortable. Hold back for 30 minutes or so until everyone has eaten.

Thou shalt not recline on someone typing

People working on laptops in economy are annoying — I know because I'm one of them. Sadly, sometimes you have no choice but to work during a flight. If someone is working, be understanding.

Mention that you'd like to recline and ask how long they'll be working. They'll usually try to wrap things up or give you a rough indication.

If they say "the entire flight," tell them that's fine, but you'll want to recline soon to get some sleep.

"Make eye contact and say something polite like, 'I'm just going to recline my seat for a while — I hope that's OK,'" Wyse said. "Faced with a polite inquiry, most people won't object."

Thou shalt not recline on short-haul flights

I can already feel the naysayers grow red as they spray spittle at their screen and yell: "But it's my right, I paid for the seat! I can recline whenever I want!"

All I can really say is that you are a grown-up. If your flight is three hours or less, you can resist turning your airplane seat into a La-Z-Boy.

Short flights are not long enough that you can't sit tight and make do. Stop making it all about you. As TPG reader Terrell Brown told us on Facebook: "Reclining on a short daytime flight is rather rude. It can break laptop computers and always cuts space for the person behind you."

The one exception here is if you have a medical issue that means you're in severe anguish when not reclining. If this is the case, have a word with your neighbor pre-recline; they'll understand.

Thou shalt wait until sundown (on long-haul flights)

By sundown, I mean "lights-off time," which isn't always at sundown.

There comes a point on all long-haul flights when flight crews encourage passengers to sleep by dimming the lights. When this happens, it's your cue that reclining is fine, and it subtly warns the passenger behind you that it could happen.

By all means, give them a heads-up if they're eating or typing away, but don't feel too bad about reclining. It's bedtime. Catch those z's.

Thou shalt not kick the recliner's chair

Yes, someone is reclining, and your nose is pressed against their headrest. However, digging your knees into the back of someone's chair or kicking it is just as uncomfortable for you as it is for them. Stop making a scene.

"If you see yourself as the 'victim' of an inconsiderate seat-recliner in the row in front, do not have recourse to passive-aggressive reactions like kicking the seat in front," Wyse said. "This sort of behavior can escalate into out-and-out conflict, and nobody wants a violent argument in a cramped cabin at 30,000 feet."

Either accept the situation or, if it's really causing you problems, ask a flight attendant if there's another seat you can sit in.

Thou shalt find a healthy balance

This one is easy: You want to recline, and the person sitting behind you doesn't want to be squashed. How about just reclining a little? You get a bit of extra comfort; the other person gets to enjoy their film without burning their retinas on the seatback screen. Everyone wins.

Bottom line

In the age-old debate about seat reclining, everyone is right, and everyone is wrong. However, the most wrong are the people who choose to be obnoxious about it.

As with everything in life, being courteous should always come first. Don't make someone else's life worse just because you can — whether you're pro- or anti-reclining. We all just want to be comfy, so let's meet in the middle and be nice to each other. If you still can't get comfy, you could always check out some of these viral travel products.

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