Dear Parents: Stop Apologizing for Your Traveling Children
A recent story about a mom traveling on a 10-hour flight between Seoul (ICN) and San Francisco (SFO) with her 4-month-old baby has taken the internet by storm. The first-time mom reportedly went above and beyond by preparing an excess of 200 goodie bags filled with candy and ear plugs to pass along to every single passenger on board.
Passenger Dave Corona, who also traveled on flight with the mom and baby, shared a post on Facebook stating that it was a "touching gesture":
The note inside of the goodie bag read:
"Hello, I'm Junwoo and I'm 4 months old. Today, I am going to the US with my mom and grandmom to see my aunt. I'm a little bit nervous and scary because it's my first flight in my life, which means that I may cry or make too much noise. I will try to go quietly, though I can't make any promises. Please excuse me. So my mom prepared little goodie bag for you! It was some candies and earplugs. Please use it when it's too noisy because of me. Enjoy your trip. Thank you."
Apologetic Airline Goodie Bags Aren't New
The practice of parents passing out inflight goodie bags when traveling with babies is not a new one. There have been several similar stories over the past few years (though usually just involving neighboring passengers, and not for the whole flight ... which seems incredibly ambitious). Though the gesture stems from good intentions, I tend to have rather mixed feelings about this phenomenon.
While the idea of handing out an inflight "goodie bag" to your fellow passengers containing ear plugs and candy is certainly a nice gesture that shows you're thinking of those seated around you, it's unnecessary to preemptively apologize for having a child with you on a flight — or anywhere, really.
Should Parents Feel Apologetic in the First Place?
This silly idea that we must apologize for traveling with children is slowly becoming the norm in some parts of the world. The strange trend of parents insisting on passing out "inflight goodie bags" always seems to garner attention, but it's a ridiculous practice that needs to stop. Or at the very least, it shouldn't be something parents feel they need to do.
As a mom of two, I always encourage people to travel with their children, and I don't feel sorry for bringing them out in public — you know, into the real world — and that includes flying. Babies and children are pivotal to society, and whether we like it or not, young children will always share public space with others.
The big question is, should parents have to apologize for flying with their children?
Of course there will always be varying opinions. It's a sensitive issue because every family may need or want to travel together, but it's also the airline's responsibility to ensure that every passenger has a comfortable inflight experience.
But this is where parenting, not apologies or candies, comes into play. In my experience, most decent parents will do whatever they can to make sure their young children are behaving and comfortable on the plane. Of course, in the example of the 4-month-old baby on the Seoul to San Francisco flight, it's impossible to predict how a baby will respond to a new experience, like flying (thankfully for all, babies tend to sleep well on planes).
As a parent, it's important to be 110% prepared whenever flying with little ones. That means packing enough food, milk, snacks, entertainment, extra cozy clothes, etc. to ensure the child is as comfortable as possible on the flight. Parenting doesn't stop or change significantly just because you are in the air -- other than the lack of an easy exit strategy.
I don't remember the last time I was given a chocolate bar (or even a nice drink) for sitting next to a poorly behaved passenger -- and there have been plenty of adults who fall into that category. So, it doesn't seem necessary to receive a treat for being seated near a young passenger who may or may not make some noise while we are flying through the clouds together. And of course, that's why noise canceling headphones were created.
Bottom Line
At the end of the day, we're all up in the sky together, so let's continue to show respect and just be courteous — tolerance and a positive attitude will get you a long way. Parents, what your fellow passengers want from you the most is just for you to be ready to meet your kids needs at 36,000 feet. As sweet as goodie bags are, I promise they aren't necessary.
What are your thoughts about parents that go the extra mile by handing out inflight goodie bags on a flight?
Here are some non-goodie bag resources to help you prepare for your next flight with little ones:
- How to Survive Flights With Kids of Any Age
- Where to Sit on a Plane With Two Small Kids
- 10 Tips for Long Haul Flights With Kids
- Best Toys to Bring on a Plane
- Most Family Friendly International Air Carriers
- Flying With a Baby Checklist
- Getting Ready for Your Child's First Flight: A Survival Guide
- Traveling With Children Who Have Special Needs
Angelina Aucello covers family travel for TPG and blogs at Angelina Travels. Follow along with all her travel adventures on Twitter and Instagram.
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- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
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- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
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| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
| 4X | Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year. |
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Why We Chose It
There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits.Pros
- 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
- 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
- Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
- Solid welcome bonus
Cons
- Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
- Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
- You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
- Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
- Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
- $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
- $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
- $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
- $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
- Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
- No Foreign Transaction Fees.
- Annual Fee is $325.
- Terms Apply.