What’s the Funniest Thing a Pilot Has Ever Said to Passengers?

Apr 25, 2017

This post contains references to products from one or more of our advertisers. We may receive compensation when you click on links to those products. Terms apply to the offers listed on this page. For an explanation of our Advertising Policy, visit this page.

Quora.com is a question-and-answer site where content is written and edited by its community of users. Occasionally we syndicate content from the site if we think it will interest TPG readers. This article originally appeared on Quora.com in response to the question, What Is the Coolest Line a Pilot Has Said to His Passengers? and was written by multiple authors.


Tim Morgan, commercial pilot:

Oh, that’s an easy one. In 1982, British Airways flight 9 from Singapore to Australia flew next to an erupting volcano near Indonesia, and ash shut down all four of the 747’s engines. The captain, in inimitably perfect British stoicism, said over the PA:

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.”


Philip Wakeling, private pilot and aerospace aluminum metallurgical engineer:

I was on an AirCal flight from Oakland to Los Angeles back in the 1980s. AirCal was a West Coast airline that flew B737’s with more legroom. Unfortunately, it was purchased by American Airlines and that benefit went away. Anyhow. After taking off, the captain made the usual post-departure announcements about altitude, route of the flight, time of arrival, etc. Then, he said:

“So, sit back, relax and join us in a cocktail.” About 10 seconds later, he was back on the intercom saying “Of course, we are not drinking cocktails up here on the flight deck. So go ahead without us. We don’t mind.”

Everyone onboard enjoyed the comment.


Doug Massey, former microchip designer, tutor/mentor in retirement:

My favorite is what the pilot said to me when I was the ONLY passenger on a plane meant for 100 on a flight from Philadelphia to Burlington, VT:

“Welcome to the Doug Massey Private Airline. We hope you enjoy your flight to Burlington — after we’ve reached the cruising altitude, I’ll turn off the seat belt sign and encourage you to try all the other seats in the cabin and let us know which one you like best.”

Featured image courtesy of Image Source via Getty Images.

2018 TPG Award Winner: Mid-Tier Card of the Year
Chase Sapphire Preferred® Card

NEW INCREASED OFFER: 60,000 Points

TPG'S BONUS VALUATION*: $1,200

CARD HIGHLIGHTS: 2X points on all travel and dining, points transferrable to over a dozen travel partners

*Bonus value is an estimated value calculated by TPG and not the card issuer. View our latest valuations here.

Apply Now
More Things to Know
  • Earn 60,000 bonus points after you spend $4,000 on purchases in the first 3 months from account opening. That's $750 toward travel when you redeem through Chase Ultimate Rewards®
  • 2X points on travel and dining at restaurants worldwide & 1 point per dollar spent on all other purchases.
  • No foreign transaction fees
Intro APR on Purchases
N/A
Regular APR
17.99% - 24.99% Variable
Annual Fee
$95
Balance Transfer Fee
Either $5 or 5% of the amount of each transfer, whichever is greater.
Recommended Credit
Excellent/Good

Editorial Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are the author’s alone, not those of any bank, credit card issuer, airlines or hotel chain, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities.

Disclaimer: The responses below are not provided or commissioned by the bank advertiser. Responses have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the bank advertiser. It is not the bank advertiser’s responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.